For Her I'll Live For Kicks
by KanashiiOokami
Summary: He can't remember who she is. When she's overcome with emotion during one of her less than loving sessions with him however, she decides to offer the one thing he'd wanted the most...


Second fic... DON'T go easy on me... this is merely an idea that came into my head last night, so I don't know if i'll continue it. Anyway on with the fic!

"Is not Hate, but regret for trusting that decietful one you Loved?" - A. Cardenas

_Prologue_

I kicked him again for good measure. I didn't want to see him getting up, even when I knew the act was near impossible anyway; Sano always made sure of that. I despised the look on his face. Never did an emotion cross his, until one of our appointments, angel-chiseled features. And I hated it. I would gladly welcome anger, or sadness from him. I would gladly welcome a slap... a punch... anything really. It never came of course. Still I hoped everyday. Its funny I would welcome this kinda thing from him, when I wouldn't even allow any other person to so much as scoff at me without a bruise or two.

I'm not as feminant as the other girls.

Why did I care to see a reaction from him? Why?

Why? Why did she always do this to me? This girl who's name I didn't even know? Everyday after school, I'd go through the same drawl some would call a routine. Walk out of room D1 on West Campus, take my headphones out of my worn backpack, turn on my walkman usually consisting of R&B, and start on my trek back home-

And a painful kick to the stomach. Wonder why she liked it there...

Not before however, having one of my daily 'appointments' as she liked to call them. What bothered me about these situations, wasnt the physical harm, or even the fact that it was a girl doing this to me, but rather that they seemed to be for no apparent reason. I was used to this, random beatings I mean, from my old school and even my parents. And no, I want anything but pity or sympathy. But there's a point when u get sick and tired of it. Just a reason would be nice, but as I stare up into her eyes I often recieve more then I ask for. I don't want to know why she feels so strongly about doing this to me... why I see every other emotion _but _disgust in her eyes, (disgust being an emotion you'd expect to see on any common bully) no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

And, finally, how she might have a part of my life.

Because to tell the truth... no matter how weird it seems... I like things the way they are... even if my world as I know it is confusion without a reason. I have no idea who this girl is and yet she's forcing herself to be such a prominent figure in my life that I just can't turn my back- no, I'm mauling over this thing to much and too melodramatically at that.

My thoughts were jumbling together, no longer being useful or effective when they started to confuse even me. I'd never thought so much about such a routine event... was this the reason for my headache?

Or was it that kick to the head she had done rather pointlessly?

And... even so, today I felt an unusual feeling, not one of pity, but one that made me grab his hand and help him up. One that made me dust him off and straiten his clothes. One that made me do something that I regret now. One that changed my life forever.

I broke down.

I weakly grasped this red-haired boy and cried into the crook of his neck, planting light, desperate kisses up and down his jaw, crying hopelessly against him. I sobbed the same words hysterically more times than I can count.

"Oh God, Kenshin! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! I really didn't! I'm so sorry!"

Yes. I knew him.

I also knew about what he had to go through all these years... the abuse he got at home... everything. Why?

Because we had been the best of friends.

Why did he not seem to recognize me?

Because of an accident that I am not supposed to know about.

Why do I hate him? Why do I do these things to him?

Because I don't. Because I really love him... in more ways then one.

How could I possibly do things like this to the one I love?

Because I'm selfish. Because he's not the one I love. Because I want the one I _do _love back...

Because I at least want my best friend to know that I had indeed thought of him than more than that.

Because I _need_ him back.

It was then I realized I had known the answer to my own question all along.

What was going on? I stared down at the sobbing girl clutching at my shirt so weakly and fragily that my heart clenched painfully and a lump filled my throat. Who was this girl? I inhaled her perfume... _White Plum... Tomoe..._

And it scared me because I'd thought it so fondly... yet that name meant nothing to me-

and I felt my body jerk, the result of a memory forcing itself to be relearned and reexperienced in just a half-second, before I returned to look at the calming girl with shocked recollection.

"K-...Kaoru?"

And that seemed to be all she needed, for her sobbing stopped instantly. I crossed my legs and sat down on the same patch of grass I'd been seen sprawled on countless times before and sighed out of exhaustion. She stood standing a second longer before she mirrored me cutely. For once in however long I can remember, I smiled. I smiled as she sighed and put her head into my lap and looked up at me with her familiar beautiful sapphire eyes. Eyes that were emotionless out of exhaustion. Or something like that.

"So... you 'member me now? Your Kenshin 'gain?"

A wider smile made its way onto my features in recollection of her almost childish speaking patterns, before turning into a frown.

"No... not yet. There's still some things I'm missing here... Why am I missing some things in the first place? What happened?"

No, I didn't forget about the countless times she'd sicked her dog, err brother- Sano, on me before... no... I wouldn't forgive her so easily... even if it was just because she wanted me to remember she still had had no right. Which is why she owed me answers.

When we locked eyes she seemed to have understood what I had been thinking about, for she looked away guiltily before returning to show me a strong knowing nod.

"It's the least I can do... after everything I've done to you... I had no right... -" she paused before reinforcing her opinion, "I had no right."

"One thing though... I'm glad your back Kenshin... I-I missed you." as she suddenly remembered her shyness in front of me, a faint blush washed over her cheeks.

As I remembered _my_ shyness, I stuttered out something between a "Moo" and a "Me too" before shifting to get myself more comfortable. Whether I meant myself or her- I wasn't sure. No, there wouldn't be forgiveness so easily... nor trust.. she would, unfortunately, have to earn it all over again. I have a feeling that trusting too easily is what had eaten this chunk of memory from my head. Not nessaccarily trusting _her_ too easily bu-... and I wasn't going to let that happen again. Even _if_ I could feel something familiar blooming inside me for this girl... the one who had apparently only was supposed to have been my best friend. But the one whom I really only know right now as a bully.

I stood up, brushed myself off, and offered her a hand. She sighed almost- disheartened, was it? And took my offer, as she too staitened her clothes. I wonder where her brother had gone off to. What he thought of this whole situation.

She'd become so feminant in just the past few minutes.

She nodded at me and looked ahead. Strangely, I noticed that, when she felt compelled to look at me, her path was straight for my eyes. Did she not like the rest of me? "We should go somewhere else more comfortable... its a long story" she said sympathetically. Yes she knew what I was going to have to go through, and I was grateful she understood so well.

Again I looked down at myself. What was she refusing to look at?

And so she took my hand and led me towards an unknown destination.

_"White Plum... Tomoe..."_

'Tomoe'?

Nothing had been different today... so why did it turn out so?

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any part thereof. The only thing I own is this fanfic.

Most likely will be errors... wordpad doesn't have spell check so I had to check it... so if you can, either ignore it, or tell me where they are.

R&R


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